Guest post by Weev
I’ve got a bomb to drop. I speak figuratively of course, but I worry that soon the phrase will a literal meaning for someone somewhere. I want you to take a look at this mugshot. This grinchlike man muting his evil grin at the command of his arresting officers knows he’s invulnerable. He knows that these charges, no matter how shocking, will be dropped. He’s being charged for the dangerously negligent use of explosives. He knows this kind of felony doesn’t matter to him, because he’s too important to go to court. He knows the police report will disappear. I searched for it extensively. It doesn’t exist in the usual locations. Michael Calhoun fetishizes explosions enough to get arrested for it. He has a violent soul, as T.S. Eliot once wrote, as the hollow men. As the stuffed men. What sort of moral fiber is a man like this comprised of?
I first found Michael Calhoun browsing the leaked databases of AdultFriendFinder. For those unaware, it’s a website inhabited by sleazy men typically seeking the company of prostitutes. While I morally object to prostitution in all its forms, there’s certainly contexts in life where it is more inappropriate to involve oneself in. Probably the worst is using state property to interact with questionable prostitution websites when you are a taxpayer-funded employee working with state property. If that you facility stores most of the nation’s nuclear weapons capabilities, that’s even bigger worse. If you have absolute control over the accounting procedures of the facility, the problem once again grows in scale. Michael Calhoun works at the Los Alamos National Laboratories. More nuclear weapons research happens within those walls than any other. It is the vast majority of LANL’s funding.
What’s Michael’s position at LANL?
His LinkedIn lists him as a “Innovation Assets Program Manager”. What sort of assets might one manage at Los Alamos?
Plutonium pits. More than any other location in the world, LANL interacts with weapons grade plutonium. The total yield of all the pits currently under the responsibility of LANL is 10,039.7 kilotons. That’s just the pits themselves, which are completed devices ready to be deployed in nuclear weapons. It’s likely far more is being used amongst the nearly ten thousand people working at the laboratories.
Publicly available sources state the minimum yield of a nuclear weapon is 0.1 kilotons.
LANL’s bi-annual report slideshow states the Michael is solely responsible for control over the software infrastructure for the entire
The kind of software that would be deployed in a nuclear weapons research facility would safeguard the secrets of the cutting edge of nuclear weapons design, and record the accounting information for the various nuclear materials handled in the facility. If there were a person more ideally suited to manipulate the accounting records, it would be one Michael Calhoun. The average research scientist can’t fudge the records– there’s automated procedures in such a system that would bust them fast, but the manager with the keys to the system can do anything. He can make plutonium disappear, and plutonium has indeed disappeared.
In 2013 the Department of Energy’s Office of Inspector General was appalled at the lack of accounting consistencies at Los Alamos. The accounting system, they found, was only 98.34% accurate. Plutonium handling facilities are supposed to be 99.999% accurate, especially one like Los Alamos. A 1.66% loss rate of plutonium at LANL means enough to generate an explosion equivalent to 166.6 kilotons (number of the beast and all) of TNT in aggregate. This is a silent scandal. This should be brought in front of Congress, but it’s all being swept under the rug because the Department of Energy can’t find the culprit. But maybe the culprit is looking right at us now. Maybe he is of loose moral character and really likes explosions.
Remember the degenerate face of Michael Calhoun and those like him. For this face is the way the world ends. This face is the way the world ends. This face is the way the world ends. Not with a whimper,
but a bang.