David Carr gave an impassioned response to a question about the final line of his book in 2008.
Question about the final line of David Carr’s book in 2008. (Here’s the line: “I now inhabit a life I don’t deserve, but we all walk this earth feeling we are frauds. The trick is to be grateful and hope the caper doesn’t end any time soon.”)
I am obviously making a general statement but I think that you get to a certain level of either personal or professional accomplishment. It could be the birth of a child or it could be a significant sporting event in your life or it could be a job that is handed to you and you say to yourself, “shouldn’t somebody better and more qualified and more serious than me take on this responsibility? Who am I to look after these human lives? Who am I to take the careers of other human lives in custody?
I don’t think that insecurity belongs solely to me. What I should say I think that people, that there is a whole lot of people that are just faking their way through life, trying to do the next great thing and achieving extraordinary things but at bottom many of them, not all, but many of them feel as if it is some kind of trick of some magic that is underway.
Carr goes on to take about his personal life:
I MEAN IF YOU LOOK AT MY STORY, WHICH IS, I WAS ON WELFARE 20 YEARS AGO, I WAS LIVING IN MY PARENTS’ BASEMENT WITH TO TWINS, HAD NO CARR, NO INSURANCE, NO MEDICAL INSURANCE. WAS NOT EXACTLY A GUY IN A COMMERCIAL LAUGHING WITH THE KIDS IN THE BACK SEAT AND YET HERE I AM, SO AMERICA IS A GREAT, GREAT COUNTRY IN THE EXTREME. IT HELPS TO BE WHITE. I THINK IF, GIVEN THE FACT THAT I WAS ARRESTED 11 TIMES, THE FACT THAT I WAS ABLE TO HIRE COULD ABLE COUNSEL HELPED ME ESCAPE CAN CONSEQUENCE AND I ALSO THINK THAT WAS IT BANISHED BY MY GENDER. LET’S SAY THAT SAME SET OF CIRCUMSTANCES, SINGLE PARENTS, ON WELFARE, LIVING IN PARENTS BASEMENT. IN OUR CULTURE THAT PERSON WOULD BE KNOWN AS A OR A LOSER OR WELFARE MOM. I WAS TREATED AS A CROWN PRINCE, JUST LIKE THE THE MAN WHO GOT CUSTODY OF HIS KIDS AND SO I HAD EVERY ADVANTAGE. THIS IS NOT A BOOK LIKE ABOUT THE VICTIM BORN INTO A NICE FAMILY, NOBODY SLIPPED ME A MICKEY, NOBODY DID TERRIBLE THINGS TO ME AS A PERSON WHO REFLEXIVELY LIKED FEELING DIFFERENT AND DID IT ALL THE TIME UNTIL HE GOT IN TROUBLE. I DO THINK THAT THE GIFTS I GOT EARLY ON IN TERMS OF UPBRINGING, THE TURNING POINT FOR ME WAS, I HAD BEEN SORT OF A CHRONIC ADDICT FOR TEN YEARS AND THE PROGRESSION OF THE DISEASE WAS SUCH THAT THEY AND THAT SORT OF OUT OF WORK AND MORE OR LESS COMPLETELY UNMANAGEABLE AND THAT MEANT I WAS A BAD HUSBAND. I MARRIED EARLY AND GOT DIVORCED. I WAS THE BAD BROTHER, TO MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS BY WAS A BAD SON AND THEN A BETTY EMPLOYEE. BUT SOMEWHERE IN THERE I GOT MY DOPE DEALER PREGNANT AND SHE HAD THESE TWINS. I REALLY HATED BEING A BAD PARENT. THERE WAS NOTHING IN MY UPBRINGING THAT COULD REALLY HELP ME FIND A PLACE TO PUT IT AND IT IS NOT POLITE IN RECOVERY CIRCLES. YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO RECOVER ONLY FOR ITSELF BUT FOR ME IT CAME DOWN TO, I AM CLEARLY WILLING TO DESTROY MYSELF TO GET HIGH AND I AM ALSO WILLING TO TAKE OUT THESE TWO HARMLESS, DEFENSELESS CHILDREN TO DO IT AND THE ANSWER WAS NOT, SAID THAT– WENT ON THE BOOBY HATCH FOR SIX MONTHS ENDED UP WITH CUSTODY AND AS THEY SAID THE VILLAGE MOVED IN AND HELPED ME ALONG IN HERE I AM.